Noticing

I'm afraid. I know what I want career I want to get into, and I have many people who are supportive of my decision and many people who are willing to do anything to help me achieve it but I'm afraid to continue on with it.

At first when I started this blog several years ago, I forgot about it until a few years later when I was like "I should start a blog" then found out I have already started one. I realized that this blog has helped me with issues I have. For instance, though all these blogs are not about me bitching and whining about what has happened, well not enough bitching and whining, anyways back to what I was saying. I post here when I've been upset about something or I've been angry, or crying which made me feel at somewhat ease and won't be mad at people around that I should not get angry at for simply being in my life.

Now I write because I'm scared. I'm almost complete with my degree and I know what career choice I want to be involved in. I'm scared I won't look the part or be able to act the part or handle myself in situations well enough. I would talk to someone in the field, but I'm scared of what they may say about it. Well I actually have and they're very willing to help me out. But still.

Writing is a passion, not a career for me. I need something that makes me feel good about myself and maybe in a few years I'll be happy with who I am, but right now I'm scared. I'm sure many people feel this way about actually going into the world and seeing the world and living within the world.

I'm scared they'll know about how I was in high school and how I was up until about three years ago and about what I've done and I'm not sure if I can handle that. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to succeed in my goal.

I'm hoping in a few months I will think differently and in a few years I will actually be within my career choice. Just need to keep training for my goal.