Kriss is currently drinking by herself, learning new things, trying to remember that it could be worse. A whole lot worse. Kriss could lose the job, house, car after all. Kriss misses the man in her life who held her when she felt lonely. Though she knows that he was bad for her, she knows it, just misses the attention.
What is Kriss looking for in a mate?
A man who has a job, who will not abuse animals, who will not smack her around or demean her in any way other then to be truthful by telling her art sucks, or something like that. Who will listen to her, who will apologize rather than explain things and reasons to it.
Okay, truth time. I am sorry but being as though Kriss (or I, sorry for third person) is a little intoxicated will be telling something personal. Kriss knows she's lonely, but she also knows a man who chokes his dog is not suitable for her. She chose her cat over him. A cat who screams for her when he thinks she's not home. What would a man like that do to a cat who wants his mommy?... She knows a man who doesn't listen when she says "please don't hit me like that" is not good for her.
So here is a list of demands, in case that guy she likes "who happens to be a cop" is stalking her.
She wants a man who has a job, a man who loves animals and helps people (like she does. Because a smile to a single person can brighten her day, even a week. Donating a bike to a kid made her happy for quite some time. His happiness made her happy.) A man who has a job and does not need to mooch off her success (or what little she has). A man who can buy his own food and doesn't need to visit a pawn shop every so often for money. A man who can easily say "No, I'll pay" when the check comes. Kriss is tired of paying the bills, needs someone else to for a change. She needs someone who allows her to pay sometimes too. for example, going 'Dutch' I guess is the proper term.
I know what I want. But I keep getting into these assholes who have nothing and I think I can help them until they tell me to quit my job or hate me having one or something. I just, I want to feel as though someone is not dependent of me. That someone can take care of me, but understand that I can do it myself if need be.
I have no clue how to feel at this point. Back to playing with video and hoping I'm not "prego" or whatever. I know he'd be the type of guy to screw me then say "oh I've never touched that, it ain't mine!" fuck.
I think what I'll miss most from him is the holding and the "I'll listen" even if he fakes listening.
DON'T WORRY!!!! I am currently finishing up one of several videos. Acting as though I never took any art or video classes in my life. Awesome.
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